Fragile beings

This past week has been an extremely, and unexpectedly, emotionally charged one. Without getting deep into the details of the heavy situations, conversations and realizations, I will share some of what I took out of it.

I have realized a lot in this past week about balancing work with friends/family, and I have taken a step back to look at the importance of being happy and the importance of keeping your balance in check for your own emotional safety. We all face decisions that take us away from keeping our word or take us away from being part of something that makes us happy, but how we handle that is the test that we'll continue to take.
I had to make a decision without having any say in the matter (if that makes sense) that took me away from a very important night with the family of friends that I have formed here. It was something that kept me from providing my promised presence to the most important people of the past year of my life, and it was an oddly eye opening experience. This series of events helped lead to me missing a "goodbye" to a great friend, a miscommunication with another great friend, and the swirling idea that I served everyone a great disappointment. The thing about great friends is that they understand everything. I have been so fortunate to find myself surrounded with people who do not get angry, but instead offer me hugs and words of support and encouragement. However, as a human being, I do not go as easy on myself as others do. I was hit really hard by the fact that I was not able to keep my word and that I was helpless in the matter.

Anyways, I explored that. I looked at what it does to me and how it can affect those around me as well. I am 23 years old with very little "real world" work experience under my belt, and I am going step by step hoping not to stumble along the way. Moreso, I am stepping very carefully so as not to hurt anyone else by not being present. But, I realized that there are decisions out there that will let people down. There are choices and moments that we won't be able to avoid and that will make us feel very small. I suppose the approach and handling of these moments is critical though difficult.

Another thing that was reinforced for me this past week was the power of communication. A friend approached me feeling a series of upsetting things that I had unknowingly helped cause, and it was an incredible exchange. He approached me without any accusatory tones and without any attack, but instead eloquent honesty and complete care. It was, to me, proof that we have so much power in our words and that they can be used for such beauty even when the news isn't always good.

This past week was such an emotionally charged one, and I find that at the beginning of a new one I feel oddly rejuvinated and calm after some turbulence. I guess we all need some turbulence to appreciate the calm that we have inbetween difficult moments. I also find that communication can hold so much meaning, whether it is verbal or not. It can be used so well or so poorly, and we continue trying to find that balance with each person.

Aside from my dumping of emotion and vague explanations, I can inform you that there hasn't been much different in Santiago life. I worked a really long week of 12-16 hour days all last week for an event between Italian businessmen and Chilean businessmen, and it left me absolutely exhausted. The weather is getting incredible and I spent the majority of the weekend at outdoor festivals, in the park playing soccer and at cafes, and all of it with great people. I have about a month left of work, but my final event is this week so I can see some freedom coming and some relaxation in the works. From there, my travels will begin as well as my farewell to Santiago.

I hope everyone is well. I will write more soon.

Keep the hugs flowing.
Save some for me.